A Day In the Life

9ish: Wake-up
Check cell for time and any missed calls
Contemplate checking Facebook to tag photos posted last night

9:11: Back to sleep

Noonish: Awakened by disturbing phone call from father
Learn bank account is overdrafted; receive on lecture financial responsibility; learn that daddy will give me money, but he will not deposit it my account for me

12:05: Arise to go and get said check from father to deposit before 1:30

12:11: Check facebook, email, myspace, cell phone

1ish: Obtain necessary funds and deposit in account so as to appear on this business day

1:27: Realize extreme hunger
Carefully contemplate lunch options available at the club
Realize I am sick of all culinary creation available at said club
Consider spending some of recently obtained funds on lunch

1:30-2:10: Drive around aimlessly attempting to decide what to eat for lunch while sending various text/ making various calls to ascertain exactly what went down last weekend and what might be on the agenda for the evening

2:28: Arrive at El Porton in sheer desperation to dine alone

2:31: Order Chimichanga

2:32: Send various texts about sad state of my life informing friends that I am in fact the sad patron who dines alone in a dirty Mexican restaurant long after the lunch crowds are gone but prior to the supper crowd's arrival

2:33: Waiter must have seen desperate hunger in my eyes

2:34: Waiter brings chiminchanga but is not fried (see previous entry, I'm quite certain the kind waiter realized there was no time to fry said culinary creation as I might die in the mean time), so its more like a chicken burrito but I quickly inhale it

2:35: Finish said lunch, contemplate that ElPo has a much more diverse staff than it used to; wonder why they don't only employ Mexicans and claim that "cultural necessity or authenticity or whatever the hell that was" exemption to title vii that I'm fairly certain law professor mentioned in fair employment practices

2:36: Vow to pay better attention in class next semester so I can answer my own questions when I have such random thoughts

.2 seconds later: Realize that will never happen, who am I kidding

2:38: Ask waiter for check; quickly throw cash on the table; make hasty retreat from restaurant

2:47: Return to my couch

Next 3 hours: Facebook
MySpace
Email
Google Chat
Think about how it may be too hot all week to make it to the "office"
Contemplate driving to the club for a slush puppy, but decide to settle for a diet dr. pepper
Laughing hysterically while viewing photos of the previous weekends shenanigans

Actually who am I kidding that was more like 5 hours

At some point during all this: receive facebook message requesting my presence at Rehab at the Beauty Shop this evening only to inform friend Rehab at the Betty Ford is probably more appropriate for someone in my situation


7ish: Start to watch a movie

7:45: Realize I have not paid attention to said movie because I have been too busy looking at random shit on facebook and myspace

7:47: Start movie over; promptly fall asleep

10ish: Wake up, only to discover I am hungry again
Also discover I have received another excellent text message; forward said excellent message to cousin

10:07: Check facebook for any new photo comments/ wall posts/ friends

10:09: Realize I have a facebook problem and vow to not check facebook for 48hours

10:15: Go in search of food

10:38: Return home, check facebook just once more before my self-imposed hiatus

10:40: Contemplate how people who actually have jobs survive; consider showering and going to Rehab at the Beauty Shop

10:43: Decide going out tonight is such a bad decision, that even I am not capable of being so silly

10:51: Climb in bed and watch useless TV programming hoping to gain knowledge for trivial pursuit or jeopardy or well its just an excuse really

Several more hours: Continue watching stupid TV; get out calendar attempt to plan weekends in the fall, realize the football schedule sucks but not having Friday classes is going to be great, once again contemplate how people with jobs function

11:56: Vow to accomplish something productive tomorrow

No, Really I am Shy

So I think if you asked anyone who knows me in real life to describe me they would definately descibe me as an extrovert. Funny thing is, inside I am really a shy person, but I cover it with my fake attempt at being an extrovert.

I've heard lots of actors consider themselves shy people, and other are like what???? No way that dude is shy. But I know exactly what they are talking about. I feel better being on stage or giving a presentation than I do just meeting new people.

And this is the strangest part.... my shyness really comes out on the telephone. I absolutely HATE calling people I do not know or don't have a real reason to call (now my close friends are an exception to this). I don't even really like to return phone calls. I much prefer email or text message..

Now this gets to be a problem when I'm involved in things like campaigning and I have to make phone calls.

So I guess in a way I'm an introverted extrovert, now I'm exhausted time for sleep...

Time to get control

These past few weeks have been wild. I've made some great new friends but I'm also at that point where I am not sure who I trust....I need to sober up and get control. Its been a little too wild for even me lately!

So Maybe I'm not a drama queen after all

So I started up this blog a little over a year ago, and I've really fallen off of it the past six month, well or at least been very sporadic with it. I'm truly going to try and write more, because as I've said so many times before I really think writing is good for me.

If anything I've learned in the past year, its maybe I am not the drama queen I thought I was. Maybe it is okay to sit back, lay low and let life go on around you, but even then it is dramatic for me. I'm really just exhausted. The past year has been a complete whirlwind and I feel like no one person knows exactly what I have been through and in a strange way it makes me sad that I am not that close to one particular person.

But on the other hand I've met some great people and now have a truly great group of friends....I'm a better person than I was a year ago (at least I hope!)

Anywhere But Here...

1.5 hours later, still not sleeping and still in a funk. I've been upset all day, and as usual its about a boy. New boy, new name we'll call him ADHD, due to his tendency to be a scatter-brained airhead. So anyways, he and I met about a month ago, and I really like him.....

Things have been going along just fine, and I actually thought there might be a future there..we haven't rushed into things at all. But he didn't come to my birthday party Saturday night and this was very upsetting to me...

So as I sit here in the wee hours of the morning, I realize, WOW! I seriously like this guy a lot, but that's not what I am so upset about, I upset that I don't want to be here (in this town any longer). Its strange I love it here, but I've also just gotten too comfortable. I want live in a new place a experience a new culture and make new friends.

This is home, so I know I can always come back, but right now I truly just want to be anywhere but here....

Strange Thoughts....

I'm fairly certain I want to move to a small town or a huge city (preferably NYC) when I finish school. Like right now it is 2am and I really want to go running, there is something about running very late at night that is just so soothing and relaxing. Now if I lived in a teeny tiny town I could do this outside b/c I wouldn't be concerned.

I realized I probably should be concerned but I wouldn't be. I used to run at all kinds of odd hours in undergrad and it was very relaxing. And if I lived in a huge city there would be a 24-hour gym somewhere. I could get on a treadmill or an elliptical machine and just let myself think and work things out. Instead I am stuck here at home, in a city where there is no 24-hour gym and I cannot run outside at this hour with out fear of severe bodily harm.

So I'm having a bit of a birthday hangover, my birthday is always a really big deal for me and this year was no exception. It was great and I had tons of adoring friends calling me, texting me, buying me shots and drinks and meals and presents all week long. But now it is all over and I'm physically exhausted and emotionally drained.

I've come to realize my best friend is a completely toxic friend. I've been upset about it all day but of course I haven't really done anything about it and I won't confront her about it.....The drama never ends even when I want it to...

So Its Been a Month....

and a very long month at that.....

basically everything has changed. Well not everything, but almost everything. I'm not going to be a lawyer anymore. Yes, I am still in law school. No, I didn't fail out and I didn't quit. I'm going to finish up, then its off to the NYC for me...what will I be doing in the NYC?? I don't know but I'm going. I'm just over everything here and need a change, and a change that doesn't involve working in a law firm every damn day for the rest of my life. If anyone has any career ideas for me let me know...

So I got through another round of law finals, and the results were less than stellar as expected. Gah, I'm just getting so damn sick of this!!! So I finish up finals, suck it up take one day off and head back to the office.... Only to find out the next day they don't need a law clerk anymore...so no summer job for me. Good thing I had already signed up for summer school and taken out a bunch of money.

Then I got drunk for a good 15 days, only to make myself so sick I was in bed for five days. Pathetic really, but I needed it. Now my main job is trying to bring up my gpa w/ the big 3 hours I'm taking in summer school, and get tan so I look hot when I see guys who I used to like but they weren't interested...

On the guy front...I'm finally over NYE guy. Even though I want him to think I'm hot, that the only thing I care about anymore with him, same goes for Halloween boy...class crush is out of this picture as he isn't here for the summer and anyways I think I just don't like him....but surprise, surprise I've got a new crush.....we'll call him convertible...we've been on a few dates its going well....he's a cutie so I'm just waiting for it to mess up...

countdown is on to my fabulous birthday extravaganza(s), yes its likely to be plural, less than a week to go!!!!!

You Think This Would Get Easier The Fourth Time Around.....

Everytime they come around I think they'll be easier, I'll be better prepared, and the whole ordeal won't be that painful. But at the end of each semester I just grow more and more dellusional.

I never could have predicted this year, well I never can predict anything. Its been wild and crazy and fun at time and sad at times and painful pretty much the entire time. And once again finals are upon me and I'm in complete and total breakdown mode. Geeez am I really paying money for this???

So my buddy who I had been hanging out with this semester, that is no more. Let's just say it pretty much blew up in my face, and surprisingly by no fault of my own. Oh well was bound to happen that way.

So here I am again, in the same place I have been so many times. No boys on the horizon, stressed and freaked out about finals.

Oh and yes I do have a test in less than 12 hours, okay that seriously makes me sick to my stomach to even write that. Its back to the U.C.C. for me, more thought later when (or if) I am ever in a better mood.